Patroclus leapt from the deck of Achille's ship. The light from the fire turned the sky a dark orange color. The Trojans had started to set fires to burn down the Greek ships. Patroclus looked on into the sea shimmering helmets. He knew that he needed to take Achilles's place, and with his arms, carry the Greeks to victory. He charged into the fray. The Greeks taking him to be Achille's were spurred into a greater fury and they fought the Trojans back.
Patroclus was unyielding and fought farther and farther ahead. His mind was clouded from his victory on shores, and he did not heed the words of Achilles's.
"Don't go near the walls of Troy," He said, "The Trojan Walls are impenetrable, and they will be well-fortified. Only drive them away from the boats and return here to me."
Patroclus pressed on, determined to slay even Hector and bring the Greeks victory. Sarpedon, one of Troy's bravest warriors, rushed forward to meet him head on. They clashed with spears and shields rattling off of each other. As skilled as Sarpedon might be, he was no match for Patroclus. He thrust his spear into the collar of Sarpedon and ran him through to the ground. The Trojans seeing their bravest killed in such ease, looked to Hector.
One called to him "Hector! Do you not see what they did to Sarpedon? How can you stand here as they disrespect his body so!"
Hector, troubled by his ally's words strode forward to confront Patroclus. He enticed Patroclus to follow him. He no longer even remembered Achilles's warning as he rushed to confront Hector and secure victory for the Greeks. Hector ran from Patroclus and towards the walls of Troy. He would fight Patroclus, but on his own terms. He led the frenzied warrior to the edge of Troy's slanted walls. In his fury, Patroclus failed to notice the Trojans on the walls readying boulders. Hector stopped suddenly and taunted him, saying that he was nothing, but an impostor in Achilles's armor. Patroclus faces Hector. Hector has scurried up a small mound and looked down upon him. Patroclus looked around saw that he was close to the walls and thought this would be a fine place to slay Hector at last. Before he could act though, Hector signaled his men and they dropped boulders from the slanted walls. They rolled swiftly down and crushed Patroclus. Hector strolled to dying body of Patroclus, and he stripped the armor and arms from him. He returned to his men to show off his trophy.
Authors Note: In the actual story, Patroclus is blinded by Apollo and then stabbed by one of Hector's men and then finally finished off by Hector. I felt this was too much divine intervention, so I changed it to highlight how Hector is cowardly by having him kill Patroclus by drawing him into a trap. Also, I accelerated the timeline and cut some context from the Sarpedon fight and also cut the fact that Apollo had to put courage into Hector's heart to make him act. I also spent more time describing the scene because I felt it was left out in the original. I also didn't have Menelaus come to fight for Patroclus's body, but that could happen after the events in my story.
Bibliography: "The Deeds an Death of Patroclus" in the "Iliad" Retold by Alfred J. Church
Zeeshawn, this was a great retelling of the tale! I also read The Iliad for my reading and couldn't agree more that sometimes the Greeks needed to lay off the divine intervention. Your change to having boulders kill Patroclus was great. It simultaneously showed off the military wit and slight cowardice of Hector and the Trojans. The way you told the story was action packed and flowed really well. I really enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteHi Zeeshawn! I really enjoyed your retelling of the Iliad! I read this story in high school, so it was nice reading a new take on it! It was witty and enticing! I liked how you changed Boulders to killing Patroclus! It was something I didn't expect. It was super action-oriented and I loved how it packed a punch! Great job, and I look forward to reading more of your creative work!
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